Rant du jour 29.03.08

Dear reader, Today has been a strange, but not uneventful day. For tis today that I was (I want to believe) HYPNOTISED. No, that's not a metaphor, I actually had a session with a hypnotist, the reason for which I may publish in a future blog, but it's too current and charged to elaborate on.
Anyway, suffice as to say, it was an interesting experience though I was concerned that I may have been transformed into a radish!
So, it was with a new sense of personal well being (following my session) I took my regular constitutional at Canary Wharf (well it was rainy and being underground 'weather' never happens at CW). A new mall has opened and I had to check it was up to my standards. It was Ok, sterile, soulless, terrazzo clad and replete with aspirational brands that I can't afford, everything I like about this chunk of Downtown Manhattan in East London. I had planned to have a late lunch at Wagamama in Jubilee Mall, but had Sausage Hot pot in Pret a Minge instead (very reasonably priced too, I heartily recommend it). Anyway, I headed back to 'The Heights' courtesy of the DLR and P4 bus ).
I found myself on the interweb checking mail, as you do. I then became seduced by a photo site I often use for research and stumbled across an image of, well I'm almost too ashamed to say, but it was that racist, feckless harridan, 'JADE GOODY'. Yer, I know I shouldn't even know who she is. Anywho, she was featured on this site on the cover of a Trash, Fash, Slag red top Mag, so being me, I had to comment, particularly as someone from the 'Global Pariah' (that should and soon will be, if it isn't already) the USA had made a typically vacuous, wide brush stroked comment. Here's my retort:

"Being a Londoner and British, I can and often do comment about UK culture (even the lowest of lowbrow). There are far too many stupid people around the UK that are prepared to allow themselves to be seduced by marketeers and the vicious British media. While I wouldn't piss on Jade Goody if she was on fire, as she embodies just about everything I detest about this vile fetish for vacuous celebrity that Britain seems to love, I do think despite her being an ignorant, revolting and racist human being she's clearly has been abused by the media she's so willing (and naively because she as thick as shit) courted. Don't get me wrong, I hope Jade Goody crawls back under whatever rock she emerged from. She contributes nothing to our country and our culture and only acts as an icon for the feckless sectors of society who think the only way (and so easiest way) to get ahead is to be whore your soul to the media by appearing on the utter garbage churned out by the likes Endemol and Syco (Simon Cowell) media.
WAKE UP BRITAIN! X-FACTOR, BIG BROTHER, Imported garbage like American Idol are purely vehicles for driving advertising revenues and nothing else. Stop phoning in and voting and GET A LIFE!"

So, there you are, I'm sure that chap in the good ole U.S of A is quaking in his cowboy boots and ten gallon hat. I can't wait for the response which will no doubt be in text speak and peppered with expletives. I find American swearing quite charming as their expletive vocabulary has nowhere near plumbed the depths of ours (something Britain can be rightly proud of). So, bring on the 'S.O.B's' , YOU IGNORANT, INSULAR, BURGER GUZZLING, BRAINWASHED MORON!

So, that's been my Saturday, how was yours?

What was it said about keeping 'The View from Greater Dulwich Heights' light? It was never going to happen was it.