Sunday 30 March 2008

Blogger Bother

Hello again, well after Saturday's rant and resultant feeling of self rightousness I was brought back to Earth with a bump on Sunday. Not sure how or why it has happened, but my 'Image Reference' account appears to have been used by someone else and for some time. I can only think it's happened at work, but even then, how?. I've been getting emails to the associated email account which I automatically just put down to spam, so normally delete them straight away, but by chance happened to open one and it had my psuedonym but didn't relate to anything I had knew about and I then discovered that many more comments that I wasn't aware of.
Anyway, I've susequently changed all my details and email address for that account (not my tiscali one, it stays the same) to something really obscure in a hope of thwarting whoever might have done this. I bemused to say the least as it's not like it was a bank account and so they could gain something from this. It's so easy to set up your own account for free. Anyway I hope it's resolved now as I will continue to vent my over inflated spleen.

Saturday 29 March 2008

Rant du jour 29.03.08

Dear reader, Today has been a strange, but not uneventful day. For tis today that I was (I want to believe) HYPNOTISED. No, that's not a metaphor, I actually had a session with a hypnotist, the reason for which I may publish in a future blog, but it's too current and charged to elaborate on.
Anyway, suffice as to say, it was an interesting experience though I was concerned that I may have been transformed into a radish!
So, it was with a new sense of personal well being (following my session) I took my regular constitutional at Canary Wharf (well it was rainy and being underground 'weather' never happens at CW). A new mall has opened and I had to check it was up to my standards. It was Ok, sterile, soulless, terrazzo clad and replete with aspirational brands that I can't afford, everything I like about this chunk of Downtown Manhattan in East London. I had planned to have a late lunch at Wagamama in Jubilee Mall, but had Sausage Hot pot in Pret a Minge instead (very reasonably priced too, I heartily recommend it). Anyway, I headed back to 'The Heights' courtesy of the DLR and P4 bus ).
I found myself on the interweb checking mail, as you do. I then became seduced by a photo site I often use for research and stumbled across an image of, well I'm almost too ashamed to say, but it was that racist, feckless harridan, 'JADE GOODY'. Yer, I know I shouldn't even know who she is. Anywho, she was featured on this site on the cover of a Trash, Fash, Slag red top Mag, so being me, I had to comment, particularly as someone from the 'Global Pariah' (that should and soon will be, if it isn't already) the USA had made a typically vacuous, wide brush stroked comment. Here's my retort:

"Being a Londoner and British, I can and often do comment about UK culture (even the lowest of lowbrow). There are far too many stupid people around the UK that are prepared to allow themselves to be seduced by marketeers and the vicious British media. While I wouldn't piss on Jade Goody if she was on fire, as she embodies just about everything I detest about this vile fetish for vacuous celebrity that Britain seems to love, I do think despite her being an ignorant, revolting and racist human being she's clearly has been abused by the media she's so willing (and naively because she as thick as shit) courted. Don't get me wrong, I hope Jade Goody crawls back under whatever rock she emerged from. She contributes nothing to our country and our culture and only acts as an icon for the feckless sectors of society who think the only way (and so easiest way) to get ahead is to be whore your soul to the media by appearing on the utter garbage churned out by the likes Endemol and Syco (Simon Cowell) media.
WAKE UP BRITAIN! X-FACTOR, BIG BROTHER, Imported garbage like American Idol are purely vehicles for driving advertising revenues and nothing else. Stop phoning in and voting and GET A LIFE!"

So, there you are, I'm sure that chap in the good ole U.S of A is quaking in his cowboy boots and ten gallon hat. I can't wait for the response which will no doubt be in text speak and peppered with expletives. I find American swearing quite charming as their expletive vocabulary has nowhere near plumbed the depths of ours (something Britain can be rightly proud of). So, bring on the 'S.O.B's' , YOU IGNORANT, INSULAR, BURGER GUZZLING, BRAINWASHED MORON!

So, that's been my Saturday, how was yours?

What was it said about keeping 'The View from Greater Dulwich Heights' light? It was never going to happen was it.

Thursday 27 March 2008

test

This is a test, so don't bother to read this. Ah too late, you just did.
Well as you're here I may as well tell you that I am still at work , it's 8pm now waiting for a file to save for the Alton Towers job.
Today has been fraught, the atmosphere in the office is very bad as Stanley our accountant who does bugger all apart from make sure he gets paid for doing bugger all was in yesterday. As normal he went through the entire staff, slagged us all off and barked on about how the company is failing and we're all incompetent. He's a racist and all round horror. He called me an immigrant recently, an insult I'd have him on an Industrial Tribunal for before you could say 'Sangatte Detention Centre'
I'd call him an F'ing *ew, but that would be 'racialistic' and 'prejudiced' innit! Also I do quite like kosher things too, so have to be careful, I'm rarely seen without a 'baigel' in my face, chomping on a 'cholla' or fishing a pickled gherkin out of a big ole jar. 'The Producers' is one of my favorite films too and I always liked Maureen Lipman in the BT adds and I think Vanessa Feltz is great (so long as you don't have to look at her, SHEESH). Can someone point the poor girl in the direction of Rigby & Peller PURLEASE!
So I had words with one of my bosses, aparently he's going to be given his marching orders, but I'll believe it when my foot is connecting rapidly with his over sized arse as he leaves the office.
OY FAVOY, ENOUGH ALREADY!

By way of an invitation and by means of changing the subject rapidly, I would like to invite you all to suggest words that you'd like to see returned to the modern lexicon. There's always a tedious thing in the paper every year when the Oxford English Dictionary is republished about words that have been newly entered. Normally nowadays it to do with street 'culcha', chavs or office jargon. But what about words that drop off, words that people no longer tend to use. My friend Sam used the word 'Luncheon' today in an email. I was thrilled, no one takes 'Luncheon' anymore, they 'grab a sangwidge', go to Pret a Minge or 'work thru'. 'Thru', now that's a word I hate, lazy American import, Monday thru Wednesday, what rot!
So Luncheon has re-entered my modern lexicon.
Those who know me well, know I'm fond of the words 'betwixt, splice, twain, Tis, thou, etc. So if you have any suggestions, do let me know.

Right, file has now saved, better lock up the office as it get's spooky and you know how I think everywhere is hauted, COS IT IS!

Wednesday 26 March 2008

Welcome to Greater Dulwich Heights

You are very welcome to my new 'long awaited' blog. From Greater Dulwich Heights I will spout musings and observations of such unfathomable inconsequenciality about life in and around this lofty area of South London that you'll want to stab your eyes with pins.

Keep a look out in the future for my sub blog 'LIFE ON THE HeathEDGE' to hear about the extraordinary goings on in the estate in which I live that would give any soap opera a run for its money. Due to legal reasons it will have to edited substantially.

I hope to be up and running soon and look forward to hearing from you.
The Laird of GDH